This Sucks. I stand here bored while my companions grunt and growl to our surprise host, some sort of snake lady. I am all for the grunting, though, since it seems like every time we fight something out here in this godforsaken jungle one of our number dies. Adventuring members of House Ember, trained and seasoned, cut down by whistling kobold scum. Great now the pack of female kobolds our polygamist kobold companion “rescued” is worshiping the damn thing. The one silver lining is if they had turned on us a week ago, I would have had a tough time drawing my sword on them. But now I’ll have no problem butchering the lot of them, assuming I don’t go down first. Ah, it looks like a negotiation has been concluded. We are going to be able to leave alive with most of our stuff, and in return we only gave the capricious ophidian demi-god some of our choicest loot including some bronze tablets I imagine held powerful useful secrets and the knowledge that there is a town of sentient beings nearby ripe for her to play with. And to even the odds a little, the new kobold is going to lead her to his tribe so she can turn them into monstrous thralls. Still at this point any instance that does not leave me or one of my companions bleeding out in the dirt is not all bad.
As we head back to town I try and think of a good way to convince the Master of Ember to go and kick the snake lady’s ass. If I know anything about fey creatures that aren’t all shiny goody-goody sparkly godmothers, its that the only thing that can stop them from doing something “fun” is showing them they will get flayed and turned into a garden hose if they do it. The master is the only one I know that I would feel confident sending against her. After we stash our tribute in the water barrels we will be almost home. What the abyss; a damn lizard thing (stupid scaled things I am so sick of scaled crap) has made its nest in the barrel cave. I try to back away but my companions are trigger happy, not that I can blame them, and we start hacking the mother creature to bits. I say mother, who knows, it is not important since apparently the “father” has crawled out of the river and we might as well kill that one to. I would be willing to eat these though. I lick the spray from my lips. I would say it tastes like chicken, but since I have not drank chicken blood straight I can’t be sure. Better than jerky though I bet. Finally I got the bastards off my companions, now I just buckle down and summon my Resurgent Ember training. These stupid lizards will impale themselves to death on my swordburst’s residual force spikes. Or not. Corellen! what the gutterslut is happening where before I would count on the force blades to keep my enemies off my back now they fade the first time one of these toothed monstrosities lunges at me. I can’t believe my power is forsaking me at such a critical time! My arcane knowledge perceives that it is not some property of these beasts but a dramatic irreversible shifting of the magic of the cosmos that has made my Resurgent Ember style residual force blade effect weaken to a foamy rubber consistency after a light testing. Well no matter, the scaly things are slain and we harvest them for reagents and snacks. Their eggs look like they might be good eating as well, but the group decides to give them to the skinny kobold so he can allow his new god to turn them into cold-blooded hyper violent killing machines. At least no one died. Excepting innocent lizards protecting their young, of course.
The final leg is enlivened by a band of fast little scaly bastards running all around trying to eat us. They did temporarily remove the digestive system from several of us, but in the end we triumphed. I don’t know if we are getting better at killing scaly things or of the jungle spirit is showing mercy on us since it has beaten us into turning back. Of course when we make another go of it I am sure the doubtlessly scaly jungle spirit will come down with even greater force. I like Veridian, but if he decides to come back to life so some savage can barbecue him again (in fairness I think they killed him first, he might want to experience it while conscious) I think I will ask him to shave. I assume dragonborn can shave, since humans shave to not look like pig dogs I assume dragonborn can shave to not look like scaly kobold lizard crap bastards. I don’t know. I’ll have to phrase it well though, he is kind of sensitive and I want to eat at least once at his place before we go back into the jungle again. especially since that might be the last time and I am not sure I can get beef berry compote sword coast style tarts in Eladrin heaven.
So we are just about ready to head out again, back into the jungle. We have weathered the embarrassment of returning empty handed and got our companion raised. I guess Aliona is happy in the shadowfell. If I had to choose one of us to not come back it would not have been the shadar-kai chick who liked to share my warding. Oh well. It seems Kur’naj is going to go with the kobold to watch the birth of a new power in the region. I give 50% he comes back just in time to warn us of her pending attack and 50% he is leading that attack, suitably enhanced and scaly. Speaking of which the master is all busy, but I suppose I can wait to try and convince him since it won’t help my cause if I interrupt him and make him all cranky. I guess the last thing before we head back out is transfer the enchantment off this bastard sword to a longsword Isak or I could use and see if I can rustle up a speaky stone for draconic and giant. I don’t really feel like sitting around while others talk again, especially since I like to practice katas when I am bored and that makes it harder for my companions to negotiate. I am pretty interested in what may be at the heart of the Fire giants volcano as well as the giants themselves. Semi-stupid giants are much more useful than fey demigod snake ladies. Even if they are hot and bendy.